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| some nice gifts for valentine's day
more hearts =]
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| Why Teachers Go Crazy
TEACHER: How old were you on your last birthday?
STUDENT: Seven.
TEACHER: How old will you be on your next birthday?
STUDENT: Nine.
TEACHER: That's impossible.
STUDENT: No, it isn't, Teacher. I'm eight today.
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SUBSTITUTE TEACHER: Are you chewing gum?
BILLY : No, I'm Billy Anderson.
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TEACHER: Didn't you promise to behave?
STUDENT: Yes, Sir.
TEACHER: And didn't I promise to punish you if you didn't?
STUDENT: Yes, Sir, but since I broke my promise, I don't expect you to keep yours.
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TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
TOMMY : Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground then you are.
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HAROLD : Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn't do?
TEACHER : of course not.
HAROLD : Good, because I didn't do my homework.
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TEACHER: I hope I didn't see you looking at Don's paper.
JOHN : I hope you didn't either.
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GARY : I don't think I deserve a zero on this test.
TEACHER: I agree, but it's the lowest mark I can give you.
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MOTHER : Why did you get such a low mark on that test?
JUNIOR : Because of absence.
MOTHER : You mean you were absent on the day of the test?
JUNIOR : No, but the kid who sits next to me was.
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SILVIA : Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER : I think so. What do you want me to write?
SYLVIA : Your name on this report card.
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TEACHER: Well, at least there's one thing I can say about your son.
FATHER : What's that?
TEACHER: With grades like these, he couldn't be cheating.
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TEACHER: In this box, I have a 10-foot snake.
SAMMY : You can't fool me, Teacher... snakes don't have feet.
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HYGIENE TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
JOSE : Don't bite any.
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TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I".
ELLEN : I is...
TEACHER: No, Ellen. Always say, "I am."
ELLEN : All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
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TEACHER: Max, use "defeat," "defense," and "detail" in a sentence.
MAX : The rabbit cut across the field, and defeat went over defense before detail.
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MOTHER : Why on earth did you swallow the money I gave you?
JUNIOR : You said it was my lunch money.
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TEACHER: If you received $10 from 10 people, what would you get?
SASHA : A new bike.
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TEACHER: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?
VINCENT: One dollar.
TEACHER: (sadly)You don't know your arithmetic.
VINCENT: (sadly)You don't know my father
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TEACHER: If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have?
CLASS COMEDIAN: Big hands!
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BOY : Isn't the principal a dummy!
GIRL: Say, do you know who I am?
BOY : No.
GIRL: I'm the principal's daughter.
BOY : And do you know who I am?
GIRL: No.
BOY : Thank goodness!
4 more days and i will go back to china for 3 weeks. i will be back at 1/18 =]. don't miss me ppl
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| Tweety Confession
beggers nowdays are.......... smart?
STUPID QUESTIONS WITH THE SMART ANSWERS:
BOY : May I hold your hand?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.
GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...
GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??
GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple
GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??
BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??
BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??
SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss??
TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth.
MAN : You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
MAN : NO, because you make me sick.
WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.
MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly.What do u think,
Peter?
PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.
1) Girlfriend : "...And are you sure you love me and no one else ?"
Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday".
2) Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
Pupil : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"
Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it".
3) Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?"
Pupil : "A teacher".
4) Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"
Customer : "What other colors do you have?"
5) My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs.
6) Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
Sam : "It's a family tradition".
Teacher : "What do you mean?"
Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
Teacher : "What about your mother?"
Sam : "She's a woman".
7) Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?"
David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performance repeated".
8) Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?"
Student : "Brotherly love".
9) Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook".
10) Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"
Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated. The others all died".
11) Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the same time."
12) Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it.
Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"
One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand."
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, here are some of pics of my poor students
